1. |
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Those years ago
You didn't know my know my name
Sun was shining on you like glass out of place
You got in my eyes, I had no idea
How boring you were
How different you would be
after you shattered and stole the best parts of me
Remember when I took you away back when
you spent all your time talking shit
I remember those evenings so well
How you'd concern yourself with anything, oh you'd be so mean
Do you ever stop to think about what you left me with? Because baby it was exhaustion.
I gave you all I could possibly give and you took it all for granted
The songs and melodies, the culture that was home to me
and somewhere to sleep whenever the tears would come
But you just left me crying
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2. |
Eddie's Island Adventure
03:19
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Oh I saw you, I was blown away
I just could not believe you were walking towards me, I knew exactly which way my heart would face, should I be broken down again
She showed no mercy
A soulless monster, her heart was empty
Her grip on my throat and a zig zag of aches down my back
I'm gripping nothing while she slipped through the cracks
Oh I loved the way she held me close, but I drained myself dry loving her the most, and when she decided to cut right out on me
You showed up, and you're just what I need
She showed no mercy
A soulless monster, her heart was empty
Her grip on my throat and a zig zag of aches down my back
I'm gripping nothing while she slipped right through the cracks
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3. |
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I can taste your bitterness toward me on the back of my tongue each night
I can drown you out with each my hollow lies
I know I could let you down, I see the fear in your eyes
that I'll rip your heart out, light it on fire and watch you cry
You fell for me, you fell over the passenger side
where she once sat but where you now spend most of your nights
oh I stopped falling and the swaying of your voice to mine
She left me incapable, she left me a fucking wreck inside
It's not like the night we met
(What's wrong with me)
I just wasn't ready yet
(There's gotta be)
I never meant to leave you upset
(A reason I treated you)
I spent too many nights in your bed
(Like she treated me)
She left me fucking torn apart
I never meant to break your heart
I don't know how to let you down
That's why I haven't been around
I can taste your bitterness toward me, you now it was never right
those tiny dorm room mattresses weren't designed for you and I
oh I stopped falling but with your hips press to mine
I wonder how I sleep at night
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4. |
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Get your smile out of your holster where you keep it
while I wipe them cobwebs away.
You must have left some smiles in your corner here
where I've been spending most of my days
shoulder your anger, holster your bitterness
While I'm aching through exhaustion
Your smile used to greet me through my window here
but you turned me away
Your bobby pins line my dresser
And my eyes are so heavy these days
I've been losing sleep quickly
Trying to remember your smile pressed against my face
I've been exhausted, I have exhausted all hope
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5. |
BEES?!
04:10
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Do they see me in their dreams?
Like they show up in mine night after night?
Maybe faint memories?
I've exhausted all hope of making things right
When I wake up
I'm reaching for one of the three of them
I dreamt we were all still in love
But I know I'll let them down again
You were so great
You really lit up the stage
Would you like to have one more dance with me?
What tears you down
Comes back around
And the ride home is so exhausting
It's one and two and three and four
The girl of my dreams, I fucked over
Seems I'm dreaming differently each night.
What tears you down comes back around
I really was the monster each time
Do they miss my embrace
The way they've haunted my dreams
Maybe in this place
They are so much stronger than me
Loathsome me, reaching for the world
It's so exhausting
yearning for a different girl
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6. |
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How can you still tear me up after you robbed me blind?
I hope the thought tears you up. I hope now I've stolen all the sleep from your nights
battered bones not so remote, not even two years ago
I broke down at Calero Lake, you stole my home from me, you leveled San Jose
I rebuilt Mcbain from the street up
with broken pieces you forgot
I found under your bed after you left
heartbreaking trinkets that dance willow glen
I saw you dancing on the ave
you thought you were free, didn't you?
I saw you and I never want to see you again
How can you still haunt me? How am I still haunted my the things you said?
Because you've made me a monstrosity and I had no idea what had happened
sometimes I still fall asleep on the bed you left, but now I feel like a goddamn fool
My city told me what you did while you were gone, you thought I wouldn't find out, didn't you?
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7. |
The Noodle Incident
03:45
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Pay no attention to the man behind the fabricated curtain
His seams are sewn with fabric lies while cutting ties from his means to an end
You came all this way and you trusted him
But he let you down and now you have to begin again
He's sorry I know he is
For every broken hearted person that ever had a grip on something
I found myself in that same place
We've all felt the same way. We are all liars it's our saving grace
Just romanticize the same old shit again and again
I'm sorry sweetheart
Can you find it amongst yourself to be forgiving
I'm not sorry sweetheart
Honestly you were the worst thing that happened to me
You saw him he must have seemed so fascinating
cause you let him seep into your thoughts and take up space
and you fell for him while he slipped further away cause it was bad for him
"A handsome devil and a son of a bitch"
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8. |
Jack + Chill
04:13
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She called me a "son of a bitch" in her dorm room
"I'm falling in love with you, how could you leave?"
How could I, after what I've been through?
She made me feel better under false pretenses
"I was the worst thing that happened to you" I said
We are all looking for somebody, to give our mind and bodies to
because we're young and naive
Those dips in her neck, a new place to rest, someone else's bed
but they deserve so much better than me
I was looking for somebody, I'm so sorry I used you
She boarded a train, across the west coast, up towards Seattle
There's nothing left in San Jose
After my last breakup, I haven't been able to settle down
and I don't find enjoyment in anything
Underneath our orange streetlights
She called me a handsome devil
I must have smiled like a goddamn fool
it made me feel better
and I hate that I used you
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9. |
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I don't like endings darling
But I like pet names and devastation and feeling like I'm alive
And tonight I feel like I'm tearing up every inch of my skin but
When I wake up in the morning I'll be fine
Winter here is nothing compared to the coldness of you
Frozen bones break easy
With the leverage of that smile you do, and I've spent ages mending
And aching with your blankets
And fighting my demons one at a time and I've finally realized
It's just gonna get worse before it gets any better
Have you ever wanted someone
Eyes shine brighter than our California winter sun
To warm up these frozen sheets
That froze over after she left me
I've got demons haunting
she never said why she was leaving
said she wasn't happy
Then vanished completely
But I'll do you one better
Next time you are morose
find your demons and hold them close
and when you let them go
They will know who is in control
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10. |
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I used to write you poems when I awoke before you
about the way you laid perfectly still,
how you barely moved when I kissed you goodbye every morning
and about how still you made me feel
When I'm hurt like I am right now
It's hard to want anything else
But a girl to keep an eye on me
I used to make you breakfast
And care for you in sickness and in health
I wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself
But the sadness will last forever
I wanna say something profound
I wanna do something someone will give a shit about
Someone to be proud of me
I can't look at her pictures without singing
I really feel like we could have something, if she'd give me the time of day
cause I've exhausted all hope of ever getting back to
To those years ago when you didn't know my name.
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